Is Your Guy
Ready to be a Father?

We talk to many women who are searching online for “how unplanned pregnancy affects relationships”. The fact is that not all men are excited to be fathers. Especially when the pregnancy is a surprise and they aren’t sure they want to be with you through the end of the month, let alone for a lifetime! Many men are very scared and do not know what to do. If a man is scared, they may still want to be a father, they just do not know how they will handle fatherhood. Being scared is a normal reaction for many men who have recently learned they are going to be fathers. It is how they handle these scared feelings that will be of significance to you.

If you were trapped up in a room, what would be the first thing you would want to do? Human nature would be to get out of the trapped situation. If this were true, why on earth would any woman think that trying to trap a guy, by having a baby, would work? One way or another, a trapped man is going to get as far away from the trap as possible.

Some men run away when they are scared. This is definitely not the kind of man you want to tell shocking news to. When they feel like something is out of their control or overwhelming, they will just turn the other way. This is often expressed by becoming less and less involved with you or not returning calls. Later it turns into literally running the other way by avoiding all contact with you. A man who feels trapped will often react this way.

Another important point when trying to figure out if your man is cut out for fatherhood is to look at what kind of person he is right now. Is he kind? Does he do a good job of making you feel valued? A man that is naturally kind to people may or may not make a good father, but it is a good starting point.

If your man loses his temper easily and has a difficult time managing his anger, this is a definite red flag. Anger issues now will still be anger issues nine months from now. Is that someone you want around a newborn baby?

Your man is not going to magically become a prince charming when he turns into a father. He will be the same as he is now for better or worse. His personality is not going to change. Women constantly make the mistake of not truly seeing whom their boyfriend or husband truly is. They look at the man they wish their partner was, instead of the man that he really is. So look at your man right now. Look at his personality, the way he treats his family, the way he treats you, and you will know what kind of father he is going to be.

Don’t let your optimistic outlook cloud your view of who your man truly is. It is not fair to you, it is not fair to him, and it is definitely not fair to your baby. Understanding who your man truly is will set you free to make decisions about your relationship and about parenthood with a clearer perspective than you ever thought possible.

Are you concerned about whether your boyfriend or husband will be a good dad? Or perhaps if he is ready to be a dad? Answer these 10 questions to find out if this the guy you want as your baby’s father:

  1. Does he choose to spend a lot of time away from you?
  2. Does your family like him? Does he like your family?
  3. Is he a good provider? If he has other children, does he support them financially?
  4. Is he physically or verbally abusive to you? Is that what you want for your baby?
  5. Does he make you feel good about yourself when you are together?
  6. Is his own family supportive of your relationship? Are they people you like to be with?
  7. Does he drink too much? Does he use drugs or marijuana?
  8. Is this someone you would choose to spend the rest of your life with?
  9. Does he argue or fight a lot with you? A baby brings more stress, more fights.
  10. Does he have good friends? Are they supportive of his relationship with you?

If you need to choose a better plan for your baby, consider learning about adoption.