Today, Pregnancy Help Online is writing a post for all the dads-to-be out there. So you’ll want to make sure to share this info with your boyfriend or husband! If he follows these simple rules, you should leave the labor and post-partum experience feeling respected, honored, loved, and cared for.
Here are 10 tips for your man to follow when you’re at the hospital to deliver your baby:
1. Be Brave
Be as strong as she needs to be. You can only be as afraid and grossed out as the person giving birth. Even though this might be terrifying for both of you, you’re in this together for every amazing, gory, and beautiful part of it. In any way you can, be “in it” with her and help her.
2. Be Present
Follow her cues about where you should be during labor and delivery. The key here is to give her encouragement and comfort, NOT to complain. Are you starving? So is she. Need to go to the bathroom? Would you like a catheter or a bedpan? She doesn’t have a way out, so you shouldn’t leave either. After delivery, she’s going to need help to recover. At the hospital and once you get home, you should be there to help.
3. Be Attentive
Be kind, attentive, and show her that you have the same goals as she does. Many new moms feel like they’re responsible for the whole world. You can help her see that she isn’t alone in all this. Don’t give up if she seems to be criticizing your effort. Try to understand all that she’s going through and check your ego.
4. Anticipate Needs
Try to anticipate what she and your baby might need, and just do it. Even though she’s exhausted after delivery, she’ll still waddle her bloody, bruised self to take care of anything that needs to be done. So, beat her to it. What you want to avoid doing is asking if she needs help, because she’ll probably say, “I got it.” If she has to say ‘got it’ too often, it’s not fair.
5. Care for Other Children
Do the huge majority of the parenting for your older kids, because they still have needs, too. Take the older kids with you on errands, so your lady can take care of herself and the newborn.
6. No Whining
It’s not a secret that the hospital-provided chairs and cots aren’t that comfy. The mother and baby are their priority, so you’ll need to find a way to make your accommodations work. Don’t whine or complain, because then you’re forcing her to take care of you. Right now, her attention needs to be on herself and the baby.
7. Stay Involved
Men aren’t taught how to prepare for a baby entering their lives and marriages. Many of us still think that women should be able to handle motherhood naturally and easily and that men don’t have any nurturing instincts. This viewpoint says that men should stay away because they’ll probably mess things up. That’s a myth, and it’s not fair to everyone. Help each other out!
8. Breast Milk is “Liquid Gold”
If you handle breast milk and spill even one drop of it or leave it out too long, complete remorse is the appropriate reaction. Whatever you do, don’t act like it’s no big deal or argue with her. Breastfeeding and pumping are challenging, so you need to treat it with the proper respect. Just think of the money you’re saving by not needing to buy formula, not to mention the enormous health benefits your baby’s getting.
9. Listen to the Doctor
Get involved in her health care. Before you’re allowed to go home, her doctor will go through care instructions. Pay attention! Take the baby if she needs to focus on what the doctor’s saying. Don’t be shy to ask questions if you need to because you’re going to be the one taking care of your baby and wife while she heals. Listen when they talk about the signs of postpartum depression.
10. Acknowledge What She Just Did
Her body is going to change from having a baby, so it’s important to remember what she did for your family. So, appreciate her body because she’s probably feeling 30 kinds of weird about what she looks like. You’re in this thing together, but it required a tremendous sacrifice from her, so try and honor that.