“Ten days ago, I found out I’m pregnant. It had been five weeks since I’d had my period. I had this nagging feeling when I bought that test that it’d come up positive. But, I’m not thrilled to be pregnant…
I walked into the living room, and my boyfriend paused the video game he was playing. I announced that the pregnancy test turned out positive. We then just sat in silence on the sofa together, not knowing what to say. To say this wasn’t the right time would be an understatement. I’m still going to school full-time, and my boyfriend is between jobs.
We didn’t mention the pregnancy until a couple of days later. We were both acting like the test was wrong. I told myself that since I didn’t take it first thing in the morning when my hormones were high, maybe it didn’t count.
Days went by, and the realization started to sink in: we were going to be parents. Since having that realization, I’ve been crying every day. Crying during everyday moments, like brushing my teeth or getting on the bus to work. And not happy tears either; ugly crocodile tears, that I couldn’t wipe away fast enough before more came.
I needed to talk to someone about this. I wanted someone to reassure me that everything would be okay. So I called my best friend, who always seems to know what to say. She asked me, ‘Are you so excited?’ I broke down in tears, and let her know that no, I’m not excited. I’m angry. I’m scared. Basically everything but excited.
‘I’m not thrilled to be pregnant. I don’t know if I want this baby. I should get it taken care of. How can I bring a child into the world when I feel this way?’
And then, when I felt so low, my friend offered another option besides abortion. Her loving and compassionate suggestion was adoption. OK, so my boyfriend and I totally weren’t ready to become a dad and mom. But there were thousands of couples that were, couples who couldn’t have a baby of their own. They wanted desperately to adopt so that they could become parents. That’s when I started to explore adoption…”