“Am I ready to be a mom?” is a question that has been swirling around countless women’s minds for centuries. Even if they’ve been planning for motherhood for years, many women wonder if they are ready to be a mom when the reality of it all sinks in.
Becoming a mom for the first time is a beautiful experience. But it can be very difficult if you didn’t plan to get pregnant or you’re not at a point in your life where you’re ready. When considering your choices, there are questions to ask. These questions can help clarify where you are in your head and heart. Are you “mom material” yet? Let us help you find out…
It is not easy to take an honest look at your life and see things for what they really are. We all tend to want to see things how we hope they will be. However, parenting is a job that lasts 18 to 20+ years! There are no vacations or breaks. The responsibility is 24/7.
If you are 19 now, you will be almost 40 before your life is your own. Some young women are emotionally ready to take on the challenge of parenting. They have older siblings and parents that will support them in this new role. Others share that they feel cheated of their youth and feel guilty they could not give their child everything they needed.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is only your way! These questions are merely a guide to help you sort out your feelings and situation. Check out this list and write down your answers.
- Do I have a stable, well-paying job that’s flexible enough so I can take time off when needed?
- Am I married (or in a stable, long-term relationship)?
- Will the father of my baby provide support and love us both?
- Will I have to drop out of school to parent?
- Will my parents help me raise my baby?
- Can I provide a comfortable home, food, clothing, education, and medical care for my child? What about college?
- Will I struggle to support my other children?
- Am I in physical danger from my baby’s daddy?
- Can I commit to giving up going out on the weekends with my friends?
- What are my goals for the future, and how does a child fit into these?
Most women who choose adoption go on to have other babies once they are older and in a more stable situation. By choosing adoption, they give a childless couple the opportunity to become parents. Most adoptions today are open, meaning that you choose your baby’s parents and can see your child grow up secure and happy. You can exchange emails, letters, phone calls, and photos with the adoptive couple you choose and even meet up once a year for an in-person visit with the couple and your child.
You could be 18 and eager to be a mom. You could be 28 and not yet ready. The most important thing is to take a courageous look at your life and make a choice for you and your baby. This time of your life is a crossroads. Which road will you take?
Pregnancy and becoming a parent involve major changes in your life, including more responsibilities and changes to your lifestyle. If you’re not ready to become a mom, adoption resources are available so you can decide if it’s the right choice for you. Lifetime Adoption‘s compassionate staff is on the line whenever you need to talk to someone. Just call or text Lifetime Adoption at 1-800-923-6784.
Editor’s Note: This article was originally published on April 12, 2013, and has since been updated.