Becoming a mom for the first time is a wonderful experience. However, if the pregnancy is not planned or you are not ready to parent, it can be very difficult. When considering your choices, there are questions to ask. These questions can help clarify where you are in your head and heart. Are you “mom material” yet? Let us help you find out…
It is not easy to take an honest look at your life and see things for what they really are. We all have the tendency to want to see things how we hope they will be. However, parenting is a job that lasts 18 to 20 plus years! There are no vacations or breaks. The responsibility is 24/7.
If you are nineteen now, you will be almost forty before your life will be your own. Some young women are emotionally ready to take on the challenge of parenting. They have older siblings and parents that will support them in this new role. Others share that they feel cheated of their youth and feel guilty they could not give their child everything they needed.
There is no right or wrong way to do it. There is only your way! These questions are merely a guide to help you sort out your feelings and situation. Check out this list and write down your answers.
- Do you have a stable and flexible job?
- Are you married (or in a stable, long-term relationship)? Is he the father of your baby? Will he support and love you both?
- Are you a student? Will you have to drop out of school to parent?
- Are you close with your parents? Will they help you raise the baby?
- Are you able to provide a comfortable home, food, clothing, education, and medical attention for your child? What about college for him/her?
- Do you have other children and struggle to support them?
- Are you in physical danger from your baby’s daddy?
- Do you enjoy going out on the weekends with your friends? Can you make a commitment to give that up?
- Many men hesitate to date a woman with children. Are you OK with that?
Most women who choose adoption go on to have other babies once they are older and in a more stable situation. They give a childless couple the opportunity to parent and see their biological child grow up secure and happy. Most adoptions have some degree of openness; this may include an exchange of letters and pictures. Sometimes there are yearly visits and/or occasional phone calls.
You could be 18 and eager to be a mom. You could be 28 and not yet ready. The most important thing is to take a courageous look at your life and make the choice for you and your baby. This time of your life is a crossroads. Which road will you take? If you want to talk to someone, our compassionate staff is on the line, whenever you need us. Just call our Pregnancy Option Hotline at 1-800-923-6784.